22 Comments

So much to reflect on with this article. Merit. Being a female from a blue collar family, merit wasn’t mentioned. “Work your ass off” was the prevailing success motto.

Which naturally breeds contempt for anyone who seems to come by success with minimal effort. It took me years to believe in and start executing “work smarter” rather than work harder. Don’t confuse this with being lazy; it’s about being more efficient, accessible, and clear about your goals.

To that point, I’ve been trying to book local acts for a VR paid gig. $150 per person for an hour in a studio performance (includes sound check). It’s AMAZING

how many acts do not provide contact info on their sites and social media. Or they offer an email address or contact form but then never respond. It’s smart biz to make it easy for people to contact you and then respond, period. Unless, of course, you’re Taylor Swift.

Lastly, and I’ll get off my slippery soapbox, you don’t need the most artistic merit to make money in this business. Motivated, driven and adaptable entrepreneurs who self-promote succeed. Someone wrote recently about an audition she had going up for a part against an unknown named Julia Roberts— among dozens of other actresses. She said Roberts wasn’t any better than the others, but she ended the audition with “I will act my ass off for you!”Roberts got the part and the rest is history.

As for your son, I’d be pissed off if the winner didn’t show (unless illness or tragedy was involved). Again, be accessible! Plus, appearing shows respect for fellow contestants who would gladly trade places with you.

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Whew.. Every paragraph had me saying things like... "Yes! That's it!", "Whoop! No she didn't!!!", "Awww..." A great read a great thought piece and I enjoy your son's humour. Thank you for sharing this and for the time put in.

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We need to talk sometime! Thanks for reading and appreciating.

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Incredible.

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Thanks, Matt! For restacking, too.

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Wonderful, Michelle! ❤

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Thanks, Judson.

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another triumph! (a Simpson's quote of course)

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Marge, please, I don't take praise very well!

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Superb article, Michelle!

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Thanks, Eug. You and I have discussed the pitfalls of merit obsession. Those conversations helped to clarify my thoughts on the topic. Thanks again, friend!

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories.

Our emphasis on grades also doesn't help. Children grow up with an enormous amount of untapped creativity. Yet, at some point, that tap is turned off. It's not that the well is empty, it's because school teaches the opposite. Blend in, Conform, Standardized testing, Grading policies rooted in inequity and rarely allow for creative solutions to the prompt, etc., etc. Parents also embrace this by financially awarding report card grades, placing stress on their children by talking about college at a young age (as do schools!), how much money one makes is often viewed as a success in our culture (and yet, education costs so much and puts many on a path of lifetime debt!). Conform and blend in. Don't explore - do it this way, not that way. 

As a high school art teacher, I am very aware of this and openly discuss it with my students. Trust the process, take risks, explore, embrace mistakes along the way, and learn from them, don't make it for me or a grade - be honest with your art and make it for you! The process of exploration and creating not only teaches us the most, but it is always more important than the final product. In the end, most of them all receive the grade they deserve (and want). More importantly, tho - they explored being creative.

i tell them the exact same thing with art competitions. The only guarantee is if you don't enter you have no chance. But, on a different day with different judges, you will always have different results. Robert Pirsig's "Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" talks at length about this very topic. It's a book I read at 17, but couldn't quite grasp its message. I re-read it in my 20s or 30s and could understand it more. However, I re-read it last summer and found it inspirational and illuminating.  Sure, it is dated, but Pirsig's overall message on the creative process, the value of art, and merit is spot-on. 

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You make some valuable points here, Michael. Our plan is to avoid competitions for a while and focus on quality songwriting instruction and partners for the 12yo.

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Superb piece.

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Thanks for restacking! Your advocacy for us here on Substack makes a big difference, Robert. I need to do more restacking in notes myself--first up, your fine work.

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Oh, it's my pleasure and thank you, Michelle, for the kind words.

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Wonderful.

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Thanks, Rob.

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This is my favorite column in this series yet, Michelle I love it that your son got back to work the next day!

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Thanks, Richard and happy summer of songs to you. Yes, I was so relieved that he showed up for music the next day!

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Michelle , what a beautiful, meaningful, thoughtful, inspiring piece of writing. Though you may not be comfortable with the appellation, you are very much an Artist In my book. I was moved by both your insights and your parenting.

One of my students today stopped me to say that they’ve made the decision to switch their major from music education to jazz performance, and to ask what I thought of that decision. I think they were seeking some validation, which I was happy to supply—they are remarkably talented. And some reassurance, which is a little more complicated to provide. I’m excited to share this post with them because it says so much of what I really want them to reflect on and hold as they try out this new picture of what their lives might be. Gratitude 🙏🏾

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Thanks, Darrell. I love that your student might find this writing useful--that's a big transition for them. By the way, I'm not so uncomfortable with the artist designation, but just don't refer to myself that way when, say, I run into someone at the grocery store checkout.

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